Blog Categories
Taking the time to unplug
I’ve been racing around quite a bit lately. I was in California for the Summit Series, then the Dominican Republic for the Belizean Grove/TARA retreat, then New York, then DC, then back to Boston. We just moved into new a home/office space, so I’ve been living and working out of suitcases and boxes.
But you know what? I loved every minute of it! I love to travel, I love to connect with people, I love adventure, and I love to work.
And right now, I’m enjoying being back in Cambridge, in the solitude of my sun-filled home; I love that, too. Even though I love to travel, being home and settled (at least temporarily before I dash off again), reminds me of how important it is to reconnect with oneself.
It’s easy to get caught up in the go-go-go of it all, but is critically important to find the time to unwire, to unplug, and to rejuvenate oneself for wellness.
For me, right now this means taking the time to sit in the sun with my cat, to enjoy simplifying (clearing out closets, shredding unneeded files, etc), running along the Charles River with my husband, unpacking a box here and then, do a little yoga, and cook a nice meal.
Remember, we can be wired for wellness if we can unwire, too.
For more tips on rewiring for wellness, visit: http://www.aimleadership.com/resources/rewired/
Awakening at the Summit
I travel constantly and pride myself on my ability to connect with people. This is part of my life’s work and passion—teaching people how to make healthy and productive connections.
And, I had no idea how disconnected I could be from myself until last week, when I attended one of the most amazing events of my life—the Summit Series Basecamp in Lake Tahoe.
I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut, in the best, possible way.
I flew across the country to attend this event where I knew no one. The people there were dynamic and engaged and were turning their passion into good in the world.
If you know me, you know I love connecting, I am pretty open and I’m pretty committed to constant learning. There was something humbling and edgy about the Summit Series. There was a new intensity of connection and vulnerability, and I started to open up and experience profound internal shifts.
I started to notice that when I thought too much or too strategically, I showed up in the wrong place. But when I came from my heart, I showed up in the right place. The more I connected inward with myself, the more I was able to connect outward in a deep and genuine way.
Something awakened inside me at the Summit Series. I can best describe it as an intersection of inner knowing, clarity to express passion, and a little bit of, “Well, if not now, when?” This is what I try to get my clients to do every day, and here I was re-learning it for myself!
Sunday evening, as the Summit Series was concluding, a new friend, Adam Tichauer, the CEO of Playbutton, asked me what would be different as a result of our time there. This was a great question, and I really thought about it. For me, I know that I will not be afraid to be even more vulnerable, to open myself up more to life, to people, to problems, and questions. I will try to connect even more. And I want to be present in and passionate about my life.
Everyone can awaken to a better, more meaningful life. I want to share with you three of my takeaways from the Summit Series that everyone can use to live more fully, presently, and passionately:
1. Get out of your head. Try listening to your heart more, or your gut, or your spirit. Don’t overthink things. Sometimes, you should just follow your heart.
2. Get out of your safety zone. You don’t have to completely move over to terror’s edge, but if you don’t get out of your comfort zone, you will never grow, learn, or experience new things. Just try it. Put yourself out there. What’s the worst that could happen? For a great diagram of your comfort zone, look at this chart from my website: bit.ly/AEIO60
3. Be present. Turn off your gadgets and pay attention to the people and the world around you. Be present in your life. It’s the only one you get.
And sometimes, we need to re-learn these, even the so called “experts… “
How to connect this Valentine’s Day—and every day!
“Keep an open heart. We are wired to find love.”
— Helen Fisher
Since it’s Valentine’s Day, I am reminded of the importance of making heartfelt connections with the people around us. As humans, we need to connect with other people, and the deeper the connection, the more successful we are in our work, in our relationships, and in our lives as a whole.
Through coaching and training, people learn how to develop their emotional intelligence (EQ), which helps them build relationships and understand other people—in other words, to successfully connect with other people. The more virtual and complex our work becomes, the more critical this skill becomes.
A high EQ—being able to meaningfully connect with other people—is an incredibly important indicator of success. But connection isn’t just about succeeding in the workplace: connecting is about living fully and successfully as a person.
So, whether you seek to connect to a colleague, employee, employer, friend, family member, lover or spouse, here are some great ways to open your heart, open your mind, and develop stronger, more meaningful connections.
Five Tips To Connect More Everyday
1. Talk less, listen more. This shows the person that you are really present. Look them in the eye, listen to what they say, and really pay attention. Stop talking so much!
2. Ask purposeful questions. Purposeful questions are powerful. They dive below the surface, engage new perspectives, and cultivate new ideas. Move beyond “nice” and try to make a heartfelt connection. Don’t just ask how their day was or where they work; ask something interesting.
3. Turn it off. Your screens and gadgets, I mean. Nothing says “I don’t really care about you” more than choosing your smartphone over the person you are actually with.
4. Give them time. What most of us really want is someone’s time and attention (I’ve heard it said that kids spell love t-i-m-e.) Try to remember that when you are with people. Give of yourself what you can and try to focus on quality time and attention.
5. Recharge yourself. You can’t give what you don’t have. So often, we push ourselves to the very edges of our day, to the limits of our being. In order to connect meaningfully with others, we must remember to take the time to reconnect with ourselves by recharging. Find time throughout your day to be still, to reflect, and do something for yourself. A little goes a long way.
Work/life balance? Don’t worry about it!
Work/life balance is a tricky thing. Many of us stress about it, believing it is something that can be achieved if we just had a few more hours in the day, or if we just had a little help, or if we could just do a little less.
I think instead of worrying about achieving work/life balance (whatever that is!), we should focus instead on doing the things we love and being with the people who energize us, and doing less of the things that deplete us. This is a key component of rewiring for wellness, which I talk about in my book Rewired: How to Work Smarter, Live Better, and Be Purposefully Productive in an Overwired World.
Your time as precious. Your life is precious. So, as much as possible, be critical and judicious with the things and people who take up your precious time and attention. Ask yourself these six basic questions:
1. Who are the people who are draining my time and attention?
2. If I have to deal with them, how can I do so on my own terms?
3. What do I love to do?
4. What are the commitments I do not enjoy that I could give up?
5. Who do I love to be with?
6. Who brings out the best in me?
As much as possible, fill your life with the people and things that fulfill you, engage you, inspire you, and make your life better. Choose them, and you’ll never worry about work/life balance again.
Read more about Rewired at http://www.aimleadership.com/resources/rewired/
Resolve to rewire: Tip #3
Working smarter in an overtired world means being as focused as possible. Here is another tip from my book, Rewired: How to Work Smarter, Live Better, and Be Purposefully Productive in an Overwired World:
Stop shifting clutter. Start organizing and simplifying.
Clutter is distracting. Really distracting. In fact, researchers at Princeton’s Neuroscience Institute reported last March that clutter actually inhibits the brain’s ability to focus and process information because it vies for our energy and attention. Just like computers slow down when too many programs are open, we slow down when we have too much stuff demanding our attention. This is critical for workshifters! So, to think and perform better, get rid of the clutter and get organized:
• Take a look at your office or work area.
• Is it well organized or cluttered?
• Can you find what you need?
• Develop a system where you touch a paper or e-mail only once. Throw out or file papers you don’t need.
• Organize your supplies and files so you can find them.
Something draining or distracting you? Hide it or get rid of it. You want to create an environment that is energizing and helps you stay productive and focused, not one that distracts you with clutter.
Read more about Rewired at http://www.aimleadership.com/resources/rewired/
Resolve to rewire: Tip #2
Continuing with the theme of resolving to rewire, here is another tip from my book, Rewired: How to Work Smarter, Live Better, and Be Purposefully Productive in an Overwired World:
Stop letting technology use you. Start using technology.
Because the wired world is always at our fingertips, because it is always available to us, we have conditioned ourselves to always be available to it. We can sometimes feel like technology is using us, instead of he other way around. But the great thing about technology is that we can use it to our advantage. The two most common complaints I hear from my clients are e-mail overload and feeling hostage to their smartphones. Let’s tackle e-mail first:
• It’s your inbox — take control of it!
• Before opening anything, scroll through and delete all non-essential messages.
• Use your spam filter!
• Get off all those e-mail lists. Unsubscribe and don’t sign up in the first place.
• Create a separate e-mail address just for junk mail, RSS feeds, newsletters, etc.
• Establish a clear protocol with clients and colleagues about when to cc, so you don’t get unnecessary e-mails.
• Train yourself not to respond every time you see the new e-mail icon. Better yet, turn off that function. Even better, pick five or six times a day when you will open, read, and respond to e-mails.
The smartphone is a bit trickier, as for many of us it is the only phone we own. We can’t very well just turn it off or ignore it. But we can:
• Be liberal with caller ID.
• Let calls go to voicemail.
• Let callers know what our office hours are and when we will return calls.
By using technology properly, we can prevent it from using us.
Read more about Rewired at http://www.aimleadership.com/resources/rewired/
Resolve to rewire: Tip #1
Resolve to Rewire!
This year, I am urging all of my friends and clients to make one big resolution: To rewire from their overwired lives. In my new book, Rewired: How to Work Smarter, Live Better, and Be Purposefully Productive in an Overwired World, I explain how we got so overwired, why we must unwire, and then how to rewire so that we are purposefully productive and present in our own lives.
I am going to blog some tips from that book. Here’s the first:
1. Stop running full out and start recharging regularly!
In order to rewire ourselves, we first have to stop the madness of going full tilt 24/7 and unwire so that we can recharge ourselves on a regular basis. We need to unwire in small but meaningful ways throughout the day:
• Start your day unwired. Have coffee before checking your smartphone or e-mail.
• Before diving into your e-mail and phone calls, take five minutes to review your schedule, look at the day, and think things through.
• Have phone-free lunches. Do you really need to be available?
• Take a walk at lunch rather than surf the Web as you eat at your desk.
• Try to unplug for ten minutes or so every hour. Get up from your desk, stretch, walk around, step outside, etc. And leave your phone behind.
Five minutes or ten minutes here and there may not sound like a lot, but it all adds up. You will be amazed at the impact even these short periods of unwired time have on your rejuvenation.
Read more about Rewired at http://www.aimleadership.com/resources/rewired/
Rewired is here!
My new book is out! Rewired: How to Work Smarter, Live Better, and Be Purposefully Productive is here! Rewired explains how an overuse of technology has made us less effective, less productive, and less present in our lives. Rewired provides the antidote to this modern malady through a series of simple but powerful strategies I call rewiring for wellness, and it’s the perfect way to start the New Year!
You can purchase the book (soft back and Kindle versions available) or read an excerpt here:
http://www.aimleadership.com/resources/rewired/
And stay tuned for tips, strategies, and great ideas from Rewired…
Double Sided Mirrors to Reflect Within
Almost everyone looks in the mirror every day. In fact, most of us won’t leave home without a final “check over.” So why do we find it so challenging to look into the mirror to see who we are? How our actions are impacting those around us? What we are becoming? If self awareness is at the core of leadership and is essential for leading a great life, why do we spend more time looking at our outsides than our insides?
AIMing for even more self awareness,
Camille
Unwired is the New Naked
We have become so accustomed to our gadgets that without them we feel naked. An OverWired businessman without his blackberry responds much like a child who has lost their safety blanket. Both panic, feel their emotions rising and will do anything to resume the certainty of what they once controlled. The courageous few take a step into the uncertainty, trusting themselves and find new courage (and often wisdom) within.
What is your “safety blanket”?
AIMing for even more,
Camille